Simple things can be the hardest to do

Well, first of all, I thought hat to become a member of the national pet-sitting organization you filled in the form, sent in your charge card #, and voila. Er--no. "Someone will get back to you in a few days." WTF??? I also thought you could get group liability insurance through them--honest, last time I checked (okay it was a couple of years ago) you could! But apparently not any more. So I have to run to the vet in the morning and snatch down my flier and make a coupla modifications.

Then I wanted to set up the voice mail on my cell phone. Now, I enjoy making up messages for answering machines. I used to have one I made with Stella that made phone salespeople put it on handsfree and holler at their friends, "Hey, come over here and listen to this!" It was pretty amusing to listen to my answering machine messages, and it was a pretty funny message, if I say so myself. I kept that for a long, long time--it had Stella's voice on it.

Anyway. I thought it out pretty carefully, and the script for this message is okay. Not inspired, but okay. Slightly amusing, business-like, friendly. Or it would be, if it were delivered properly.

First time I recorded it my throat was all tense, so my voice came out tight and pitched high. Not good. Second time I consciously pitched it lower. Worse. Third time I smiled--you know, put a smile on your face and it will reflect in your voice. Well--not always. Fourth time, I looked at Taenzer to make me smile for real. Fifth time... Well, you get the idea. I finally gave it up as "good enough," but I still sound like the meanest bitch on the block, who's likely to wring your neck if you dare leave a message--"and your little dog, too!" Sheesh. Even allowing for how lousy a phone makes you sound, it sounds horrible. No wonder the Ts go into the other room when I start singing! I always thought if I had any extra money (as unlikely as that is) I'd maybe like to take piano lessons again, but maybe I ought to be thinking of voice lessons!