Appreciating what you have

Today someone on GSD-L had to have her dog put down--while he was being treated for bloat it was discovered that he had a massive tumor. A friend here in town had to have her elderly cat put down. I took Annie in to the vet this afternoon for her PPO visit, and had to reschedule because the cat in the next exam room was dying.

I hurt so much for those people--not because I'm such a great-hearted person, but because I remember how completely devastating losing Stella was. It will be 4 years in July and I still cry about her. I still feel like part of my life ended when she died.

Sometimes I resent the Ts because they're not Stella. But I came home and let Annie out of her carrier, and started petting and talking to the Ts, and I realized that, okay, they're not Stella, but they're their own dear selves and it would break my heart to lose either of them--my sweet, goofy, athletic, high-strung Taenzer and my sweet, sweet, crazy, determined, adorable Timber. I love them both so much.

When Nixie was dying I spent the last few months of her life trying to be as open to her as I could, to soak in as much "Nixie-ness" as possible. And once I got past the first couple of months with Stella, I think I spent her entire life appreciating her for how wondrous she was. That's an important lesson the two of them taught me, but it doesn't hurt to be reminded sometimes.

Love what you love with all your heart, all the time, because you never know how long they'll grace your life. There's no time to waste.

I love you, Taenzer.

I love you, Timber.

I love you, Annie.